Breaking Free from the ‘Perfect Mom’ Narrative: How False Beliefs Keep You Stuck
Motherhood is beautiful, but let’s be real—it’s heavy.
So much of that weight doesn’t come from what you’re doing wrong but from the stories you’ve absorbed about what it means to be a “good mom.” These stories are silent but powerful. They creep into your thoughts, shape your decisions, and fuel the guilt you carry day after day.
Maybe you believe you have to be everything, for everyone, all the time.
Endlessly patient, creative with your kids, making healthy meals from scratch, keeping your home picture-perfect, always staying calm, and—of course—doing it all without asking for help.
Sound familiar? Let me tell you something: these aren’t real expectations. They’re false motherhood narratives that we’ve unknowingly carried from generations, social media, and societal norms.
What is a motherhood narrative?
It’s the story you tell yourself about what it means to be a “good mom.”
These narratives don’t come out of nowhere—they’re shaped by the world around you.
🔸 From family: Maybe you grew up seeing your own mom do it all without showing signs of struggle.
🔸 From society: We live in a culture that praises productivity and perfection over rest and realness.
🔸 From Instagram: The curated highlight reels of “perfect” moms make it seem like everyone else is thriving effortlessly.
Without realizing it, you internalize these stories and hold yourself to impossible standards.
How do false motherhood narratives show up?
They sneak in as thoughts that feel so real:
💭 “I’m failing if my child throws a tantrum in public.”
💭 “If I need help, I’m not a good mom.”
💭 “I have to give up my own needs to be a ‘selfless’ parent.”
But these beliefs don’t just stay as thoughts. They turn into guilt, overwhelm, anxiety, and even burnout. The more you try to meet these expectations, the further you feel from ever getting it “right.”
The solution? Rewrite them.
The good news? These narratives aren’t fixed. You have the power to rewrite them into something kinder, more realistic, and full of grace.
Here’s how:
1️⃣ Notice the story. When you catch yourself feeling guilty or overwhelmed, pause and ask:
What am I telling myself about what a “good mom” should do right now?
Where did I learn this?
2️⃣ Challenge the belief. Ask yourself:
Would I ever expect this of another mom?
Would I tell a friend she’s failing if she needed help or her house was messy?
If the answer is no, it’s time to let go.
3️⃣ Rewrite it. Replace that false narrative with one rooted in truth:
“Being a good mom means showing my kids how to handle imperfection.”
“My worth isn’t tied to how much I do—my presence matters most.”
“Asking for help isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength.”
You are already enough.
The weight of motherhood doesn’t have to feel so crushing.
Sometimes, all it takes is one shift—a new story—to start feeling lighter.
Because being a good mom?
It isn’t about meeting impossible standards.
It’s about loving your kids the best you can and showing up as your real, imperfect, enough self.
It’s time to give yourself permission to rewrite your motherhood story.
What will your next chapter say?